One Week To Survive

Thanksgiving has passed and yet I remain thankful. Holidays have never been a time of joy for me. They bring frustration and the reminder of the brokenness of my family. Now in the midst of school, work and all that life brings, I have become fully aware of what I have. The semester is slowly coming to a close and those projects that once daunted me, are now behind me. It is not fully over yet as I step back and reflect, I see the miraculous feats I have overcome.

By far, this semester was the hardest I have gone through and yet, because of it I have learned so much. I can only hope that the wisdom and knowledge that has been passed down to me from those smarter than myself, will stick.

Fortune has smiled upon me this year or perhaps even before. The people placed in my life are beyond extraordinary. I have three of the most wonderful roommates. I will admit at times I want to drive them to a remote field, leave them and drive back, but I wll never stop loving them. Despite all of my eccentricities and obnoxious ways, they still stick with me. No fights have erupted, few tears have been shed. Between four girls, not much more could be asked for.

Semester marks the end of something and the beginning of another for me. I will become a junior in January and as excited as I am about graduating early, it scares me. My decisions have been made, goals set and in the works yet I still feel a sense of apprehension. The cause is something I have yet to pinpoint. Until I know otherwise, I shall continue on the path laid out in front of me. Not knowing where it leads, I shall follow blindly in faith. In the end, I may be rewarded.

More and more I have become aware that I've become a workaholic. I love being there and look forward to it throughout my day. It is not so much the work that drives me but the people there. To say I do not enjoy what I do would not be true. I love everything about it. Sometimes I wonder if there is something else in store for me. Only patience and time will reveal that.

We are swiftly entering into another holiday season. Along with the festivities once again comes the hardship of dealing with my family. I love them all very much and I suppose that is why I still put up with it all. Every family gathering I sit and am made fun of by my brother, sister and soon to be brother-in-law. Their words and actions hurt more than they understand. They will never know or understand.

Amidst the mess and chaos, one song has calmed and soothed my weary spirit. I don't know why or how but the song "Holy Holy Holy" by Sufjan Stevens has meant a lot in my life these past few days. Its simplicity and beauty inspire within me a sort of awe.

For the first time this semester, I truly believe I will make it. One week remains. I shall conquer.