Sleepless nights haunt me. Though I pray for relief, it does not come. One day blurs into the next until I no longer recognize them. Soon things will get better. Easier. Exhaustion, washes over me, drowning me in unending waves. Things aren't supposed to be this hard. I never planned for this. Homework, once finished days in advance, now sits neglected. What happened to me?
I wasn't supposed to feel this way. It wasn't supposed to end up like this. Watching it unfold before me gets harder, yet, I don't know what else to do. Lie. Pretend to be fine. For awhile, no one notices. Slowly, facades slip away. My wall begins to crack, letting in that which it was built to keep out. Buried hurt surfaces at the most inopportune moments. Though I try to cover it, it will not be hidden.
Constantly slipping away, I cannot hold on. Knowing of its eventuality did not make it any easier. The hurt still exists. Still causes the tears. I stare in as if looking through a glass window, face pressed against the glass. Inside I see it, but the glass bars my way. Though I knock, no one looks. Do they even know? Dare I let them?
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